Charting Your Course
Having your destination clearly in mind affects every decision along the way!
To use a business management term, a great way to accomplish this is through the creation of a “family mission statement.” What is this? A family mission statement is a combined, unified expression from all family members of what your family is all about and the principles you choose to govern your family life. Put another way, it is a concise written statement which answers the fundamental questions for your family:
What kind of family do we really want to be?
What kind of home would you like to invite your friends to?
What embarrasses you about our family?
What makes you feel comfortable here?
What makes you want to come home?
What makes you feel drawn to us as parents ‘so that you are open to our influence?’
What makes us feel open to your influence?
What do we want to be remembered by?
There is a saying that “without vision the people perish.” Perhaps, tonight you could just go and ask each member of your family individually, “What is the purpose of our family? What is this family about?” Ask your spouse, “What is the purpose of our marriage? What is its essential reason for being? What are its high priority goals?” You may be surprised by the answers that you receive.
Say, for example, that it is decided that education is a value in your family. A lot of parents set this as a hope for their children. You decide that a priority in your family is for your children to work in school and get as much education as possible, and not take shortcuts to simply get grades and diplomas. So, you would read together as a family. You would organize your home so that your children had a time and a place to do homework. You would made the effort to become interested in what your children are learning in school and give them opportunities to teach you what they are learning. You would choose to focus on learning, not grades, and encourage them to continually grow.
For the most part, families don’t have the kind of mission statement so critical to organizational success.
Yet family is the most important, fundamental organization in the world. It is the literal building block of society. No civilization has ever survived its breakup. No other institution can fulfill its essential purpose. No other institution has had its impact for good or ill.
We can create a vision for what we want our family to be like, what we will live by, and what we will stand for.
