Learning to Broadcast on the Correct Frequency
What is your primary love language?
What makes you feel most loved by your spouse?
What do you desire above all else?
If the answer does not leap into your mind, these are some observations that may help you:
What does your spouse do or fail to do that hurts you most deeply? The opposite of what hurts you most is probably your love language
What have you most often requested of your spouse? The thing you have most often requested is likely the thing that would make you feel most loved.
In what way do you regularly express love to your spouse? Your method of expressing love may be an indication that that would also make you feel loved.
On August 14, 2005, this exact plane crashed killing 121 people in a 100% preventable accident because of a breakdown in language. The Captain was from Germany and the First Officer was from Cyprus. They both had passed the ICAO Level 4 English language test, meaning that they could speak English to each other but only basic aviation terms and checklists.
Maintenance workers had left the plane’s pressurization in the manual mode, they missed it on their checklist and climbed to altitude. When warning indications went off, the situation required thinking and speaking outside the box. Basically, they couldn’t do it. They both passed out do to loss of oxygen, the plane flew on autopilot for 3 more hours, and ran out of fuel. All preventable, if they could have spoken each others’ language.
The same thing can happen in our relationships at home and even at work. We all speak what psychologists call a “love language.” We all receive and give praise, appreciation and thanks using different ways. There are 5 common ways: Words of Affirmation; Physical Touch; Receiving Gifts; Quality Time; Acts of Service.
If you aren’t speaking another person’s language –you can yell as loud as you want – they aren’t hearing you. In the same way, if they aren’t speaking your language – you aren’t hearing them. So, I would encourage you, for those people who are closest to you, learn their language.
It may prevent a disaster someday.