The Stress of Love
Why do some people hurt more than others? What may seem to be a stress of life to one person may be a traumatic experience to another. Each person has strengths and weaknesses and respond to different stressors of life in different extremes. What is the cause of these differences and what can be done to mitigate them?
Some people seem to be born with an ability to endure hardship. There is some indication that this resilience follows family lines, so it may be genetic or imparted in childhood.
This can work both ways. If a person has gone through major crisis before (for instance: the battle-hardened vet) he may be strengthened to deal with the current crisis.
However, the previous struggles may have worn the person down so the fatigue factor comes into play. The person may cry “I’ve had enough. I can’t take anymore!” This is especially true if there’s something unique or surprising about the current stressor. It may find a “chink in the armor” of the most hardened person.
Otto Lilienthal
Father of Aeronautics
Lost his life in the pursuit of manned flight
Each of us is in a certain trajectory of growth. We are learning things, assimilating things we’ve learned, or questioning things. A stressful crisis can push us further along or knock us back; it depends where we are.
Trauma is a magnifying glass. It will magnify your problems, find your weakest point, and make it weaker.
Friends and family can help or hurt, but it goes beyond this. Where do you go when you need help? If you have a network of friends you can rely on, great. If you have a church or synagogue or social group that can offer assistance, wonderful. If you have a trusted counselor, use him or her. Those without such social supports can be wrecked by trauma.
Otto Lilienthal
Otto Lilienthal was a father of aeronautics. He cracked the code that the shape of a wing could generate lift and make manned flight possible.
However, the technology of his time limited his ability to generate propulsion. So, he would go to the hills about two hours north of Berlin and jump. He logged 5 hours of flight time over the span of 5 years by doing this..
He was able to crack the code of lift by not stability or control. One day, he lost control and fell 50 feet to his eventual death (August 9, 1896). He died never knowing the full impact of his life …
What Lilienthal never knew is that soon after, thousands of miles away, a young man was struck by the dreaded disease Typhoid. For days he lay in a delirium, close to death, his fever was 105 degrees. He had a Brother who read to him – read the story of Lilienthal – and this reading about Lilienthal sparks his imagination.
One day this older brother wrote one of the most important letters in history. He wrote to the Smithsonian Institution asking for all available information on the topic of manned flight. The man’s name was Wilbur Wright and his brother was Orville.
If we reach out to those under stress – to be the social support that they need at that time – we will serve them in a way that we many never comprehend. We may never know the full impact that we can have on their life…